I THOUGHT IT WAS MY TURN

Benue State is considered Nigeria's food basket, and most of its inhabitants are established farmers. Yet, in recent years, violence has forced tens of thousands of people from their homes. Many have settled in camps around Makurdi, the state's capital. Environmental degradation and droughts have reduced the amount of fertile land available, while violence and insecurity are forcing herders to move to the north-central part of the country from the top northern parts. Resulting clashes over the available land with sedentary farming communities, exacerbated by a 2017 law banning open-air grazing. An estimated 300,000 people have been forced from their homes, and 1,300 were killed in the first six months of 2018. Outside northeastern Nigeria, riven by armed conflict and Islamist fighters, Benue State today hosts the largest share of the country's displaced people. Living conditions in the camps are precarious, and daily life is a struggle, particularly for women. In 2023, Médecins Sans Frontières recorded 1,731 admissions to their clinics related to sexual and gender-based violence, of which rape is the most common form, accounting for 79.4% of cases.

*Names have been changed to protect patients’ identities.

Work done with Médecins Sans Frontières / Doctors Without Borders

“I saw men hiding in the bushes, but it was too late to run away. We were ambushed. Three of them had guns, and two had cutlasses and machetes. They were discussing if they should kill us but decided to rape us instead. I recalled my husband’s death and thought it was my turn to leave this world. I forced myself not to struggle with them or shout so that I could be alive for my children.”

 “I went to a police station to report the rape. But the policemen did not really look. They came with me, did not find him, and never came back. I saw him again in the camp after what happened. But now he is no longer here; he has been gone for a few months.”

“My husband left me with our six children without any explanation. He was gone for over a year. I was worried that my children would starve to death. I asked for help from this man who used to help me with small things sometimes. He was also displaced in the camp. He promised to give me money for food and asked me to meet him in a house outside of the camp. When I arrived, he said that he would help if I had sex with him. I refused, but he physically forced me anyway.”

“When the sun goes down, I sit on a bench in front of my tent, and sometimes some other women come to sit with me. I often feel lonely… I had two children, but they both died”. When others go to sleep, so do I. But when people are sleeping, some men are walking around the camp looking for sex.”

Shiana lives alone in the camp, with empty and destroyed tents around her. She has been disabled since early childhood and stays behind when her sister travels from work. She was raped twice last year, by two different men, in September and in November 2023. The last time she slept was when someone knocked on her door at night. “I told him that I was sick, hungry, and weak, hoping that he would go away. But he still forced the door, caught me, squeezed both of my arms and raped me. He left the tent right after. I was very ashamed and scared; only when the stomach ache became too severe to bear did I come looking for help.”

“My mother did not want to see me ever again. She took all my belongings, my school uniform, and books and burned everything in front of her house.” Dooshima wants to go back to school at any cost. First, she plans to learn how to sew clothes and, by working, earn enough money to buy books again. “I want to become a doctor and save lives, like the doctors who saved me.”

“One day, on my way to a farm where I was working, my mother forced me to go on a motorbike with some men. I did not know when we were going. As we approached a village, a crowd was shouting, singing, and cheering, and I recognized wedding songs. They were singing for me. I was sold to be married. I wondered if I had on me anything sharp enough to kill myself.”

 “I was asking him not to harm me, but he said that I had to pay what my mother earned for me, 80,000 naira (70 $), if I wanted to be free. He then had his way and forced himself on me. When he fell asleep, I escaped and walked all night in the bush until the next evening, I met Nigerian soldiers who helped me.”

“My husband was captured and shot in the back of his head when he tried to run away from our house. He was lying dead on the ground when another man came and cut his head off with a machete. Then, I was pushed down and forced to lie with my face in his blood. My children spent the night and the next day hiding in the bush before they came back. I thought they were also killed.”

“I was a farmer in the village of Upiam during the rainy season, and I owned a little cookery where I sold simple meals during the dry season. Now, I cook with what I can get, hoping that I’ll be able to feed my children. Sometimes, I leave my children and look for small farm jobs nearby. I was lent some land to farm guinea corn. Six days ago, when I went to check on my crops, herders’ cows were feeding on my corn. I wanted to talk to her, but they showed their long machetes and ran towards me. I twisted my ankle, running away. The food is there, and I have no choice; I will have to go back.”